The nest feels empty

Yesterday we dropped our youngest babe at college. 8/22 had been circled on our calendar for months and I had been trying to emotionally prepare for the goodbye and transition. She is at a great school and in a good space, and thankfully her oldest brother is in the same city. Still, it is hard to explain the hollowness in my core. Like I’m missing a limb. The disbelief that after 20+ years of raising three kids - the soccer games, field trips, cuddles reading books, carpools, sleepovers… that is all over. I don’t think I’ll be the older woman in the grocery store who gives uninvited advice to young moms (as I got when I was exhausted and breasts were leaking through my shirt), “enjoy each moment, it goes so fast!” At that grocery store, the days often felt long…. I almost wished certain hours would fade away. Reflecting on the passage of time, I’m not sure it went quickly as much as it just went by. My daughter being in third grade feels like 30 years ago….another lifetime. Yet here we are, and I find myself frantically grasping to remember more of those days or to get one back. It’s an incredible truth - that you pour so much into raising these little people, they become the center of your universe (on good and challenging days), and then - they move out. WHAT?

But I wouldn’t want it any other way. It’s their turn to fly.

I haven’t gone in her room yet…but I am planning some time to lie in her bed. Then I’ll shoot her a peppy text, something funny, and wait for her to make the next move. We lead, and then it feels like our turn to sit back and watch them grow.