Postpartum anxiety - real and common and not our fault
What really is postpartum anxiety? Don’t all moms worry a lot? Is it part of the “baby blues?” or something different? What about anxiety during pregnancy?
In my work as a postpartum doula, I am so fortunate to hold a lot of babies and meet a lot of moms. A dream job in so many ways. With a background in mental health counseling, I am always sensitive to when moms share their worries and struggles with parenting. I try to validate how hard being a mom can be, with the woman’s identity change, lack of sleep, hormonal shifts, and new everyday worries. No doubt - this is an overwhelming time. Sometimes, for about 20% of us, we also may experience intense feelings of fear, worry, paranoia or even terror.
After researching, training and listening to moms speak about PMADS (perinatal mood and anxiety disorders), there is a common thread. Moms describe feeling alone and scared to share how they were really feeling, How would others see them? Would someone take their baby away? Would people judge her as a bad mother? These fears about how she would be perceived often lead to feelings of isolation. Moms describe canceling plans with others, looking more put together than they really felt, and starting to not recognize themselves. Moms with postpartum anxiety may have intrusive thoughts, constant or intense worries about safety, panicky moments, difficulty eating and/or sleeping, and racing thoughts. Often full of shame and self-blame. Hours with their baby may not feel at all how they imagined it would be.
If any of these feelings feel familiar to you or someone you know, please know that there is nonjudgmental support and resources available. You are not alone, your feelings are more common than you may realize, and these feelings are not your fault. You may be experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety as do 1 in 7 women.
Here are some resources, and I invite moms to reach out to me Becky@earlycaredoula.com for personal support or local Cape resources.
https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/ - online groups and chats and hotlines
https://psidirectory.com/w:Barnstable%20county,%20ma - Barnstable County therapists
https://pps.neonccm.com/index.php?section=approvepeerapplication&action=new_app - Peer mentor, support options
https://www.nichd.nih.gov/ncmhep/initiatives/moms-mental-health-matters/moms and https://www.postpartum.net/learn-more/anxiety/ information on PMADS
https://youtu.be/3o80dVXzKXE?feature=shared - Mom shares her postpartum anxiety story
Two quotes from the videos I’ve watched that really stuck with me -
“By choosing me (my own care), I was choosing them (my family) too”
“It is time that our society took better care of mom, and not just the adorable baby she birthed”
Please reach out, momma, we are here to help.
