MOMS Group Discussion

Each Thursday morning, I gather with a group of moms in Eastham to check in, share updates, talk about the joys and challenges of motherhood. This week one topic arose that seemed very worthy of writing about because I’ve heard these feelings expressed by many moms, many times.

Asking for help is so hard. Many women feel very isolated during these months, as they learn so many new things about being a mother and may spend long days home alone. We as moms seem to have a particularly hard time asking for favors and support. Why? We talked in group about the subtle societal expectation that MOMS are super-hero like and can “do it all” on their own. We accept this pressure, try hard to balance it all, and because we are human, we struggle. I can totally relate, I remember feeling bad asking for help with my kids, admitting that I can’t pull it all off, or frankly, that I don’t want to! I needed a break sometimes.

Please mommas, there are so many people who want to help, who offer to help, or would gladly trade help. We talked about how we encourage our friends to accept help, yet we hesitate to request it for ourselves. Women tend to be helpers. Some women feel great pleasure in helping others. So let’s take our own advice, and reach out for support. Come to MOMS group, work with a doula, trade two hours of kid care with a friend, and when people offer, appreciatively accept!

Think of it as a good teachable moment for your kids - this perspective helped me. I want my kids to feel comfortable helping others as well as asking for help. I tried to teach them that we all take turns helping and being helped, both are important. We don’t have to do it all. And it’s very likely that we’ll do most of it better and happier, with some support.